"Why aren’t we ranking higher on Google? Our name starts with A, and this other company only starts with H!"
Designer: ”I will create a login box on your website. Once someone registers and logs in, the website will recognize who the user is and provide relevant content.”
Client: ”That sounds great. However, instead of a login box I’d like to use biometrics to identify the user.”
Designer: ”Not sure what you mean.”
Client: ”When someone visits the website, I want them to be able to put their hand on the monitor. The monitor will then scan their hand to confirm who they are. I think that would be a lot more engaging. How much extra would that functionality cost?”
Designer: ”Several hundred million dollars.”
Client: Why are you being a wiseass? Can you do it or not?
Designer: ”No. Sorry. That’s a little too advanced.”
Client: ”Fine. I’ll try another web designer.”
"Lime Green instead of regular. As ninja turtle bright as possible."
Client: ”So I just wrote my first post on the blog you made for us. Can you publish it to all RSS feeds?”
Designer: ”Do you mean publish it to your RSS feed? Because that happens automatically.”
Client: ”No, I mean ALL RSS feeds. Like every one on the internet.”
Designer: ”That’s not possible.”
Client: ”Yes it is, I read an article about how RSS is the equivalent of newspapers on the internet, so if I post something everyone on the internet should see it, just like everyone reading a newspaper would see the front page.”
Designer: ”Er… that’s not really true, that’s not how RSS works.”
Client: ”Well then this whole “blog” thing isn’t what I paid you to do, then, is it?”
[Yep, these are actual conversations between designers and their clients. Want more?]